Wednesday, June 07, 2006

 

Blog's adventures in the Blogosphere

Blog, his conical hat awry from scratching his matted grey hair, was immersed in podcasting. His stained blue robe no longer looked regal, for its stars and moons had faded in the glow of the cauldron he had been stationed by for weeks.
Encysted in a privacy bubble of his own making - Blog liked to call it the Blogosphere - he stirred and sifted his brewing substance until it reached just the right consistency, that of cheese.
"AHA!" he cried. "'Tis the perfect post!"
All that was left to do was to upload, but as he tried to podcast his post, Blog realized something was amiss. The Blogosphere had grown in power and strength - it was no longer just a product of his own devices. A bead of sweat formed in Blog's eyebrow and gravitated down towards his right eye. The air in the Blogosphere was growing thick as the casted membrane lost its pourousness.
Blog's sphere assumed properties not intended by its designer. Messages began scrolling across Blog's bubble, transmitted from all ends of the political spectrum. Blog looked left and right, and his formerly translucent bubble was becoming opaque on all sides. In the center of it all, Blog wiped the sweat from his eye, knocking his pointy hat off his head and into the cauldron.
Immediately, the cheese-like substance ceased bubbling and began emitting a whine akin to that of a petulant two-year-old. Blog, powerless and growing irritated by the noise, could only watch and listen as his beautiful post that he had worked so long and hard on, became something else entirely. Blog knew he had to act fast, but the only recourse left to him was a strategy he was reluctant to use. But it was his last remaining defense against the whine that was becoming more and more powerful in the Blogosphere's cauldron. Blog decided and committed himself.
"I call on the Blinded Eyes of Argus," he shouted at the whine and the scrolling type surrounding him on the Blogosphere, now so thick that very little could be distinguished as communication. "I ask of you the power of disheedfulness!"
Blog felt the electric, yet calming influence of that for which he asked. The spell was nearly complete, only the most powerful magic words left to be said.
"EFF IT ALL!" he shouted. "EFF IT ALL TO HELL!"
And the blogosphere shattered with a resounding crash. Making Lights fell to the left and Drudges fell to the right. In the center of it all, Blog was protected from the sharp fragmented messages by his powerful new discognizance.
His cauldron in ruins, filled with the remnants of the Blogosphere, Blog tipped the black vessel over and allowed the contents to flow to the drain in the center of the room. He prepared to fill it again, though he knew he would not be podcasting again anytime soon. Rather, Blog measured out an entirely different set of ingredients, stirred them together, and formed a virtual landscape within his cauldron. He then busily set about the task of designating zones within the map as commercial, residential or industrial, providing virtual power sources, and laying down a street system he hoped would make sense.
"Better turn disasters off for now," he muttered to himself.

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